Jack Taylor’s Story
We found out Elle was expecting in May 2016, after briefly discussing trying for another baby.
We already had our 2 year old Daughter Isabella, but having already experienced two miscarriages prior, pregnancy was already a worry for us. But nothing could have prepared us for what was to come.
Having attended our 12 week scan, and being nervous as anything we heard those words every parent wants to hear. “ Here is your baby” But after the sonographer checking for a couple of minutes, he explained to us that our baby had an enlarged bladder. Which was unusual for this stage. He explained it could be nothing, but that it could also be linked with a chromosomal abnormality, and that we would have to go to Birmingham Women’s hospital for further checks.
A few days after we got scanned at Birmingham. The bladder had gone back to it’s normal size, however our baby kidneys looked as though they had been damaged, by what could have been a blockage. They were confident it didn’t need any invasive testing but they would have regular scans to check.
At our 20 week scan, our consultant was happy that our baby was growing well and that the amniotic fluid was as it should be, and referred us back to our local hospital to carry on scans there. We understood our baby may need some extra testing when he was born, but everything was starting to look up!
I remember Elle telling her Mum that she didn’t feel he was as active in the womb as what Isabella was, and that she had this doubt in her mind that something else was going to happen.
At our 28 week scan was where it all changed, because of the previous issues with the bladder & the kidneys, every scan was in so much detail that we couldn’t really keep track of what they were looking at. Although this time felt so much different, they were spending so much time, looking closer and re-checking everything. I remember looking at Elle and we just knew something was wrong. He later explained that there was a problem with our baby heart & brain and suggested we had an mri scan to get a better understanding. I remember the heartbreak of hearing Elle say We won’t be taking our baby home” Those words will live with me forever, knowing I couldn’t make it right for Elle, Isabella & of course Oscar is heartbreaking.
At 30 weeks they confirmed our fears and more, our baby boy had a cyst filling one of the ventricles in his brain, a discrepancy in his heart chambers, extra digits on each had and almost definitely blind. All of this was linked to a condition called Patau’s syndrome, which having been tested was a 1 : 26000 chance.
Our whole world fell apart, how could this happen. Why? How do we explain to our daughter Isabella that we won’t be bringing her baby brother home.
We made the most difficult decision ever, to let our baby boy go to sleep in mummy’s tummy, we felt we had to protect him from any more pain or suffering. We felt he would be most at peace, with mummy.
I can remember that day like it was yesterday, but also like it was forever ago. It is such a strange feeling.
Our boy was born on 7th December 2016 at 17:20
It was so hard to understand how poorly he was because he just looked perfect.
For many months & years after I still struggle. I always ask myself…. Why Oscar? Why us? I’ve gone through a lot of mental health problems, and still struggle to this day.
The hardest thing I will ever have to do is carry Oscar to his funeral, our son! No parent should have to do that!
You will forever be our boy. We Love You x
